1. Who do I love and why?

My husband - because he is an amazing man, he loves me for me, he believes in me, he makes me laugh every day, he wrote the most heartfelt wedding vows and most importantly, he gave me our son.  Our love story is so perfect in its imperfection and given the chance to re-write it, I wouldn't change a single thing about it.  I'm so glad that we chose each other.  This life is so much better, more fun, more sweet, less scary and less uncertain because we are walking through it side by side.
My son - because he is so much more wonderful than I ever dreamed. He is so sweet, affectionate and has an easygoing temperament.  He also has a very distinct sense of humor. Just the other night he was watching my husband play ball with one of our dogs and he was laughing so hard he cried.  He's only 10 months old! I didn't know babies could do that. 

My mom - because she has taught me so much about love and how to be a good mother. She has been an example of strength, perserverance and hard work.  She has a heart of gold and it's been so fulfilling to see her now as a grandma.  The  way she looks at my son, with such love in her eyes, will be tattooed on my heart forever. 

My friend Sherry - because she has a big heart, taught me what it really means to be a good friend to someone else and helped me to understand my own worth.  She has celebrated life's biggest highs with me and was there to help me through the lowest lows. 

This list is not exhausive, nor is it anywhere close to complete.  But it's a start - I gotta lotta love in my heart!  More to come some other day.  It's 9:30pm and time for me to kiss my husband good night.

Questions to tackle in this blog

Who do I love?  Why?
What do I love about life?
What is my purpose?
What are my dearest values?
Where do I come from?
Where am I going? How am I going to get there? Who's coming with me?
Why do I keep hearing weird knocking noises coming from the icemaker or is it the chimney?
How did I get so lucky to live the imperfect, happy and serendipitous life I've been living?
What is the legacy I want to leave this world?
Who am I?

My goal is to address one of these questions each day over the next 30 days.  It's my commitment to myself and honoring my need to write.  I am hoping that in doing so, I will reach some decisions about what I want to do with this blog.  Interestingly enough, many of my favorite blogs, began as personal journals and evolved over a couple of years into full time work from home for some amazing women.

I honestly don't see myself going that route.  But hey - I'm still new to this blogging thing and I shouldn't close the door on possibilities I haven't met yet.

60+

I knew I had been neglecting journaling/blogging for awhile, but geez! I had no idea that more than 60 days have passed since I wrote a post.  I think part of why it's been so long is that I still haven't quite decided how I want to use this blog and who I want to have access to it. 

I believe in transparency and most who know me will tell you that I'm a very open person.  However, I am congnizant of privacy concerns, online safety and reactions from friends/family.  And then there's the social media policy at work.  Clearly work-related issues are off-limits.  I don't know that I just want to focus on personal life and put myself and my family out there.  And then I wonder if I'm being hypocritical.  One of my favorite ways to pass some time and wind down is to read blogs of other women.  I suppose that makes me a bit of a voyeur too.  Hmmm.  I think I have a bit of a character conundrum to clear up. 

I won't solve it tonight. But at least I'm writing about it and trying to work through it.